You Know You Have A Real Jeep (Are A Real Jeeper) If . . .

1. You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside

2. You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your Jeep

3. You determine that the best route from Point A to Point B is through a rock pile or over a mountain

4. You call a scratch or a dent, a beauty mark

5. You roll it over and don't get upset

6. Your Mom or your sister can't get in without help

7. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb

8. You feel nauseous when you see a RAV-4 or a Chevy Tracker

9. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush

10. A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you want to get out and slap the driver

11. It takes more than 6 hours to get donuts

12. You pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days

13. You take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail; I don't see a trail!"

14. You've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ, and XJ to your spell-checker

15. You can see OVER a Suburban

16. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up

17. Your Nerf bars battle rocks and win

18. It rains and you don't care that your top and doors are off

19. You drive around to look at Christmas lights . . . topless

20. You change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break

21. Your "Parts Department" is on blocks behind your house

22. You take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again

23. You use an ice-scraper on the inside of the windshield

24. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents

25. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints

26. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling

27. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other

28. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left your top

29. You spend more on car washes than on insurance

30. Even worse, the car wash won't let you in

31. You fix almost everything yourself

32. You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser

33. You have the phone numbers for all of your favorite mail-order accessory houses memorized

34. You have all your credit card numbers memorized

35. You slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground

36. You get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm . . . and get paid for it

37. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it

38. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway

39. You are dating the Service, Parts, or Sales Manager at your local Jeep dealership

40. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily

41. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway

42. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep

43. After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?", the next question is always: "And you do this for fun, right?"

44. Your criteria for selecting a "significant other" includes auto repair skills--air tools optional

45. You plan your wedding around the Club's trail ride schedule

46. You save broken Jeep parts as "momentos"

47. You know the exact story behind every one (see above)

48. When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Jeep Owner's Bible"

49. You keep trying to convince your significant other to allow you to remove the doors on the family minivan

50. Your Jeep no longer fits in the garage

51. You  always have your drinks "on the rocks"

52. You think that any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel

53. You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps

54. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud

55. You know your ring gear size, but not your wedding ring size

56. All of your shirts have some sort of grease or oil stains, or battery acid holes, from not planning on working on your (or a friend's) Jeep

57. You have a dirt berm at the end of your driveway from the mud that got washed off of your Jeep

58. You think that an "airline" is something that connects your differential to your air compressor

59. You stop trying to get the dirt out from under your fingernails

60. You buy parts for your Jeep instead of food for your family

61. You spend Super Bowl Sunday turning wrenches rather than watching the game

62. Your e-mail address refers to your Jeep rather than you

63. Your garage holds more Jeeps than your house has bedrooms

64. You have enough spare parts to build another Jeep

65. You have Jeep parts in your cubicle at work

66. You have to wash your hands before you go to the restroom

67. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage

68. You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident

69. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep

70. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station

71. You're constantly getting passed on the highway

72. The Service Department has to let all of the air out of your front tires in order to reach the engine

73. Your wallet is always empty!

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